Menopause is often called “the silent passage,” and until recently it was one of those things you didn’t talk about, not even among friends. But as women of the Baby Boom generation began making the passage, all kinds of information became available on the science and psychology of this life change.

“Menopause, The Musical” debuted in Orlando, FL in 2001, blowing the lid off the silent passage and drawing women in huge numbers to dance, sing and laugh at the maladies associated with menopause.

How far we’ve come.

I remember when I was in eighth grade, the mother of one of my best friends had a nervous breakdown. People shook their heads sadly and said it was because of “the change,” but that’s all that was said about it. I wondered then what could possibly be so awful about any change that it would make a woman lose her mind.

Fast forward several decades. Now I get it.

The physical symptoms are well documented and oh so true. The body dries out and starts to sag, thanks to a redistribution of hormones. It smolders like a moody teenager and erupts in flames at the most inopportune times. The brain fuzzes over, clouding the memory and sabotaging any ability to concentrate. Restful sleep is often hijacked first by the internal volcano, then by the icy shivers that follow.

When I see a winning coach get doused with Gatorade at the end of a football game I sometimes think, “Try that every night for a couple of years and see how you feel.”

That’s my grumpy side, which was really quite foreign to me until a few years ago. I am an optimist. I like finding the good in things and letting others see it, too.

That is probably why I am also a bit of a naturalist as far as treatment of health symptoms is concerned. Believing in the body’s ability to regulate and right itself, I prefer to let it sort things out on its own. Menopause made a mockery of my stoic and patient nature.

The scariest part of menopause—and the aspect that almost took me down—is what it does to a woman’s confidence. When the body no longer responds to diet or exercise the way it used to, when sleep is disturbed on a regular basis and when the mind refuses to focus or function as it once did, self-confidence takes a hit.

When this happens, a woman may begin to do things that in stronger days she would not have considered. Some women go shopping. Some stray. Some become fitness addicts. Some sip a glass of wine while making dinner, one more to savor with the meal. Later, she’ll have a cocktail before bed. And then maybe one more to assure sleep. The well-documented up tick in alcoholism among middle-aged women may have a link to menopause.

All these behaviors can make a woman feel like a stranger to herself, which worsens the sense of imbalance and anxiety. Most women tend to keep such troubled thoughts to themselves. They reason that no one would understand exactly what they’re feeling, and besides, they’ll soon get past this rough patch.

But the silent passage can last a long time. The damage done to a woman’s confidence can lead to a gradual withdrawal from life and sometimes deep depression. That’s what happened to my friend’s mother so long ago. It is what threatened me so recently.

Ladies, do not succumb!

As with any difficult change, remember that your life so far has woven itself into a story complete with ups and downs, trials and triumphs. Be proud of where you’ve been and excited about where you’re going. Don’t try to wade through menopause on your own. It is a natural stage of life, and a challenging one. Stay socially active. Get involved in activities that bring you satisfaction. Have fun with your family. Refuse to give up your self-confidence!

This world needs all the talent, wisdom and energy you can lend it. Preserve your health and your humor, trusting that a saner, happier, flash-free future is on its way!

Susan Marshall is an author and speaker whose book, How to Grow a Backbone: 10 Strategies for Gaining Power and Influence at Work, has been translated into multiple languages and is especially popular in Asia. Her work is dedicated to building strong leaders who create successful organizations, transform school systems and develop leaders at all levels. You can reach her at 262-567-5983 or execadvise@mac.com.